Planning a funeral for a loved one is always difficult, but when there are hard feelings among family members, the process can be unbearable. Planning your loved one's funeral doesn't have to turn into a battle. If you've been put in charge of making the arrangements, using the following steps will help you avoid the hard feelings that could destroy the solemnity of your loved one's funeral.
Agree to a Truce
Hard feelings and grudges can ruin any family event. However, when it comes to the funeral of a loved one, you hope that those feelings can be set aside for a while – at least until after the services. While you're planning the funeral, talk to family members and encourage them to participate in a truce. A temporary truce will allow you to proceed with the funeral arrangements long enough to give your loved one the opportunity to be remembered by all those who loved them.
Find Common Ground
When a loved one is lost, family members are filled with memories about that person. Sometimes those memories can provide the foundation for bonding. While you're planning your loved one's funeral, try to get family members to find common ground that will allow them to bond during this difficult time. Perhaps a family vacation or one particularly happy moment in time will help your loved one's overcome their hurt feelings so that you can all heal as a family.
Make It a Group Effort
You may have been put in charge of planning the funeral, but that doesn't mean you need to do it all by yourself. Now would be a good time to involve the family in the decision-making process. Gathering around the table to discuss plans may invite conversation that will alleviate the hard feelings among family members. If you're worried about hostilities taking over, plan to have the discussion at the funeral home.
Use a Mediator
If you're having a difficult time overcoming the hostilities that are preventing your family from coming together, it might be time to call in a mediator. Mediators are disinterested third-party individuals, which means they will be able to facilitate communication without taking sides. Using a mediator will allow you and your family to discuss issues in a constructive manner.
If family problems are preventing you from giving your loved one the funeral they deserve, use the tips provided here to alleviate the hurt feelings. Talk to your funeral planner about other ways to help families heal during a time of loss. Contact a company like Maham Funeral Home to learn more.