Death happens to everyone, but when someone very close and special dies, the consequences can seem unbearable. The following four ways to cope can help you heal and eventually, rise above the pain. You owe it to yourself to start, sooner than later.
1. Stick Together with Friends & Family
Even if you never even got along well with your fellow survivors, now might be a good time to put aside any differences you have and work to heal each other. With the common bond of having loved the departed, you might suddenly find yourselves overlooking those things that interfered with the family before. While you're trying so hard to maintain appearances for the sake of funeral services, you could discover good things about each other and build on that. The death of someone in the family may also remind each of you that life is short and by being mere mortals, you all need to cherish time and each other.
No matter what the circumstances of your relations, sticking together now will help you all collectively heal and move on.
2. Make the Funeral Count for the Living
Funeral homes are often seen as just places where sad formalities take place, but don't dismiss their value too quickly. If you and others planning the funeral can curtail the overwhelming grief long enough, you could plan a fabulous funeral that helps everyone remember the departed fondly, while helping to heal those in attendance. Ask everyone close to the person who passed to prepare a speech, be it of fond memories or funny renditions. Ask them to bring a little of the love and adoration they have for the deceased and leave it there for others to partake of.
The planning of any funeral usually happens under a cloud of grief and sadness, but ask the home's director for guidance in creating a service and memorial that celebrates life, rather than focusing on the death. Bring the place to life with the wit, humor, humanity and heroics of the departed, so that everyone in attendance walks away feeling uplifted, instead of downtrodden. Make sure they feel grateful for having known the deceased, not sorry that they're gone. This type of service can be therapeutic, while creating new memories to cherish and share.
3. Start Something New
Moving on from a great loss is difficult, but starting something new and even unusual can help divert your attention from mourning, even if it's only temporary. Let the death, though, be a reminder that your own life on this planet is finite. Let that motivate you to try something you've been wanting to do for a long time, such as travel to a certain country or try a spectacular feat, like sky-diving or climbing the nearest mountain.
Think, too, about how the departed would want you to live your life now: Sullen and depressed, or rising to new heights? If they could see you now, drawing your living room curtains in solitude and silence, would they not be burdened? Wouldn't they rather see you out there in the world, leaving your mark or pushing your limits? No matter how hard you have to battle your sorrow, get beyond it and start something new for yourself.
4. Join a Support Group or Seek Counseling
It can be really hard to get over the death of someone dear to you, no matter how hard you try. In some cases, you may find solace in a support group, where other people just like you are dealing with an unbearable loss. People sharing stories with each other is good therapy and it's nice to know you're not alone in how you feel. You might meet new friends in a support group or simply have a place where you can cry out loud without consequences.
Sometimes, professional counseling is needed for someone grieving so deeply that they can't proceed with their own life. It's not something to be ashamed of or feel defeated over; rather, it's simply a matter of being human.
Death is perhaps the hardest thing to handle in life, but some deaths are harder than others. For further assistance, contact resources like Taylor Funeral Home.